Fred Zackel - True Love When You See It

Fred Zackel

True Love When You See It

Don’t ever run out of gas on Apple Hill Road on a moon-lit night. Long walk to town, it is, bashing werewolves as you go. And she’s got to come with you ‘cause you can’t leave her there, just like she can’t go on alone, leaving you behind. Nope, you’re in it together, unless it’s over for you. Take the bats you happen to have in the backseat. Give her the aluminum one. It’s lighter. Show her how to swing. Girls don’t got upper body strength like boys got. Oh, she’s got enough to do the job and keep you going, and you can help her, if she’s willing. Swing as hard as you can, sweetie (you tell her). A baseball bat to the head kills them. Aim for either pointy ear, or their furry mouths, or their soft throats. Strike as hard as you can. Pound ‘em, like nails into soft wood. Every monster you kill, it’s a home run. Your butt against her butt gives you both three-sixty coverage. Gotta be touching, though; that’s trust. And don’t step off the road. On the grass, you’re theirs. Don’t let them drag you into the corn, corn high enough to hide the scarecrows, yellow eyes amid the fireflies. Maybe if you each live through this, you were meant for each other. Werewolves got skulls like eggshells. Hit ‘em and they dissolve like dandelion fluff. Hit ‘em and they turn to glistening powder in the moonlight. Butt to butt, keep swinging. Now you know what love is.

Fred Zackel teaches literature and humanities at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. His 1978 novel Cocaine & Blue Eyes was recently reprinted by Point Blank Press.